when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
