didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
