I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
