ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
