Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
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