Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
