remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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