Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
