There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
