I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
My vagina just clenched in fear
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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