She's JV to your varsity
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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