She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Randomize
