By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
