I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
