2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
So many bounce houses so little time
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Randomize
