Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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