Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
