so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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