dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
You can't just leave with hair like that
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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