I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
