I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize