I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
