nut hugger
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
