Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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