Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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