when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
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