No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
