Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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