Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
