I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
My legs feel like baby dolphins
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
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