It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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