You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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