She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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