I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
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