meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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