I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
