turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
