I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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