god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
