I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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