Me too!
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
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