don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Randomize
