they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
