Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
