"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Randomize
