how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
