well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
