ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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