Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
