come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize