Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
this will be a night to untag.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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