Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
dude. I can hear the air.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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