Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
