she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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