8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
