hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
