But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
