i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
