he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
