dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
We need to get me chipped asap
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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