He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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