you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
