One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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