I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I could fuck to npr.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
