Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
