sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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